we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
