he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
