you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
