Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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