Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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