You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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