I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
