I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
i think my cat just said my name.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
