awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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