I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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