I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
