Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
