just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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