If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
