distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
