So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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