I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize