You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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