I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
