that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
