is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
