Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
