Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
