i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Randomize
