You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
