It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
