i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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