Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
