Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
