The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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