On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
