I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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