I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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