If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
