Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
