we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
