We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
