guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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