I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
