found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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