And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
