Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
i now understand why vodka
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
