Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
How external is "for external use only"?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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