Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
