yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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