If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize