I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize