is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I need water and some morals
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
