She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
