i can't believe i had my finger in that
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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