Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
