waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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