I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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