sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
