i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
