and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
