oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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