but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
