Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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