Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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