I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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