I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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