hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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