guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i drank out of a bidet.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
