worst night to have a conscience
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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