I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
