well I can't set my house on fire every night
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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