some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
