I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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