After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
