um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
