left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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