And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
